What I'll Miss About Toronto: #22 - Cottage Country

As immigrants to this country, my family had no clue what the hell a cottage was. In fact, I wasn't exposed to what a cottage was until I was in grade 11 and a bunch of us went to Sarah Curtis' cottage up north. I had a great time - thank God Sarah was a good swimmer/diver as there was a terrible moment where my glasses sank to the bottom of the lake (and I needed them to drive everyone back home). We were fortunate enough to visit the cottage again the following year - awesome lake, we slept outside on the trampoline, and played nothing but board games for the entire time we were up there. A peaceful and relaxing time.

I've been fortunate enough to go up to my friends' cottages ever since - and this past weekend, I had a great time at my friend Jesse's family cottage up north. An amazing snowfall allowed us to go trekking around in snowshoes and experience "Earthing" as Brandon called it, where you just lay on the snow and stared up into the sky. No city noise to distract you - just one with nature.

One amazing cottage to call out is my friends Kasia and Jordan's getaway. I've been able to go up for the summer and the winter - the latter wasn't the greatest experience, but the company was great fun. Many thanks to all of those who have invited me to their amazing places up north - they were some great memories.

What I'll Miss About Toronto: #23 - TIFF and Awards Show Season

Okay, so my last post was a bit emo. I've decided to lighten things up a bit and go back to my list of things that I'll miss. This post started off as a blog about how I am going to miss all my favourite awards shows while I'm away from North America, but I realized it didn't follow my "What I'll miss about Toronto" theme.

So I had to throw in TIFF - or the Toronto International Film Festival - one of my must go to events every year here in our lovely city. Ever since being introduced to the festival in 2006 by my friend Erin, I've been an avid attendee and for the last three years, I've been responsible for organizing tickets for my friends. In fact, I am so in love with TIFF that I thought I would come back for September and volunteer for the festival (that's still TBD - depending on how much money I have left).

Some of the best movies I've seen at TIFF were the likes of Slumdog Millionaire (People's Choice Winner in 2008), Waiting for Superman (on of my favourite docs from 2010 on the American education system) and People with Kids from this year - which is expected to be released in April 2012. I highly recommend it. It's great how the city becomes electric in the first two weeks of September. Film junkies filled into theatres, stars from all over the world come and party, and we get a peek into movies that might never get released or we get the first chance to see the upcoming award season's nominees.

Which leads me to Awards Season - my version of March Madness. At work, I've run the Oscar pool for the last 5 years in a row, which makes me sad as I retire the crown this Oscar season. I will get to see the Oscars before I leave for Asia - thanks Kim Hunter for hosting this year, which I am thankful for. You better believe I'll be live blogging and Facebooking.

But here to help you out with your Oscar picks for your Oscar pools - here are my picks:

Best Picture - The Help

Best Director - Alexander Payne (The Descendants)

Best Actor - Jean Dujardin (The Artist)

Best Actress - Viola Davis (The Help)

Best Supporting Actor - Christopher Plummer (Beginners)

Best Supporting Actress - Octavia Spencer (The Help)

Best Writing (Original) - Bridesmaids

Best Writing (Adapted) - The Descendants

Best Animated Film - Rango

Best Foreign Film - In Darkness

Best Doc Feature - Undefeated

Best Doc Short - The Tsunami and the Cherry Blossom

Best Live Action Short - Raju

Best Animated Short - Dimanche

Best Original Score - Hugo

Best Original Song - Man or Muppet

Best Sound Mixing - Transformers

Best Sound Editing - Transformers

Best Art Direction - Midnight in Paris

Best Cinematography - The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

Best Makeup - Albert Nobbs

Best Costume - Hugo

Best Film Editing - The Artist

Best Visual Effects - Harry Potter

A Reminder of Why I Made the Right Decision

Just under a week ago, those of Chinese decent ushered in the 4710th year of the Lunar calendar and the beginning of the Year of the Dragon. Chinese New Year, the most important day of any Chinese household, was celebrated with everything decorated in red, pocket envelope money and hours and hours of eating meals with family. In fact, it is so important to Chinese people, it causes the largest human migration on Earth every year - when migrant city workers in China travel back from major cities to their home villages for their once a year visit with their families.

Like all new year's celebrated by cultures around the world, it is a time for throwing out past grievances and looking towards the future. It couldn't have come at a better time for me as I start this new leg of my journey in life. On CNY day, my family called at 10pm on Jan 22 (it was already CNY half way around the world) to wish me a happy new year. It was one of the first times, that I got choked up talking to my family. (Note: that's them all at my Uncle's house in Taichung right before they called me. They like printing out signs on the computer - they tell me that's how much they know about technology. I giggled.)

A few people know my family background - ironically, I'm not one to share a lot about my personal life (I can hear you scoffing: "um, that's not what my Facebook newsfeed says."). My family, my relationships and even my friends from different social groups have been kept separate and out of the public limelight. It's not that I don't love any of those parts of my life, I just have a tough time expressing my love for those people. My hope is that with this new year, my new adventures, and this new blog, I can start sharing some of that with you.

My family has always been divided. The one thing Asian families don't do well is talk about problems openly with one another, rather, they all like to gossip to others, which causes more drama. Confrontations are explosive, excommunication is common - your run of the mill soap opera (with chopsticks). My mom and dad's relationship in the beginning (from what I've been able to piece together from various family members and momentos) had been a happy one. What I've determined is that when I came along, and the strong duty that they felt to provide me with a better life than the one they had, eventually led to them drifting apart and carved out my families journey to the present.

My parents and I landed in Canada on Feb 28th, 1989 (fatefully, I am leaving the same day for Taiwan 23 years later - SIGN FROM ABOVE!). We moved in with my mom's parents until we found a home in Scarborough, at the corner of McCowan and Finch. Life was good, until I was in grade 3. My dad hadn't adjusted to Canada as the language barrier was causing him to have trouble finding work in his field, and he missed his family in Taiwan. My mom, who had all of her support system here, couldn't bear the thought of returning. These factors, added with the stress of my brother just being born, caused a fracture - one that they were never able to repair. They divorced, Dad left Canada for Taiwan two years later, and my mom became a single mother, determined to raise my brother and I by herself and do whatever she can to give us the tools to succeed.

I've written about my mom before. She was, and still is, my hero. Not a day goes by where I don't think about what she sacrificed to give my brother and me a better life and everytime I think about it, I can't help but miss her and cry. We lost her 12 years ago to cancer and to see her fight the disease because she was so determined to see my brother and I reach 18 was truly inspirational and sadly, heartbreaking knowing she wasn't able to do so.

It was my close connection with my mom and her family that caused a rift with my dad. As I've grown and matured, I've begun to understand how much that rift has caused my dad to be upset that he doesn't have a better relationship with my brother and myself. For a while, my dad and I didn't speak, and he actually didn't find out about my mom's death until two years after she had passed. To this day, he is heartbroken, both at the fact that he found out so late and that he wasn't able to say goodbye to the woman he still loves.

Divorce is always a tough situation and it is one of the worst things to happen for children of a young age. I certainly didn't have the full understanding of why it happened (and still don't to this day) and with parents who act like children through a divorce as they battle it out, it's the children who come out as the losers. I don't blame my mom for what what her and her side of the family did during the divorce - they were protecting their own. But sadly, what they took away from me and my brother with their actions was getting to know and be closer with my dad and his family.

Some of my earliest memories have been happier moments with my grandmother (my Ahma - or my dad's mom) who has made me her favourite since the day that I was born. Whenever I go back to Taiwan, she and I always go for lunch and she tells me stories about what I used to do as a child - always the attention seeker, but always well behaved. Her stories help conjure up hidden memories of when I was 3 or 4 years old and how she took me to her mahjong games and to temple. But I've always wondered how many other memories I could have had if everything worked out between my parents.

When I heard my family's voice over the phone last Sunday, I couldn't help to think about what's left for me here in Toronto. Everyone on my mom's side of the family is gone - my uncle, grandfather, mom and grandmother have all passed. I only have my brother, who's doing great at U of Guelph, and my aunt is in Los Angeles. It wasn't until speaking to my aunt about my plans to travel that I started getting a quiver in my voice when speaking about how sad I am that there's really no one left here except for my brother and I. It was a hard truth to face, that all this time, one of the reasons why I was unhappy was that I felt so alone and apart from my kin.

Their photos and love from across the Pacific reinforces my decision to take off and spend more time with them. I've only been back to Taiwan four times since my family immigrated here. Each time was only for a week or two, barely enough to connect and understand that there are so many other people who love me, half a world away. I am so grateful for this chance to be able to go back, this time for a long period of time. I will laugh, eat and drink with them and try to catch up on all of those memories I haven't been able to capture until this point in my life. I cannot wait to see my Ahma again, who at close to 80 years of age and with 3 surgeries under her belt this year, is as spry as I am. I cannot wait for the chance to go to Tibet with my dad and one of my uncles, and have them point out random, crazy facts they know because it makes them feel happy doing so.

Wow...that was a lot to share - I think there are things in this posts my closest and best friends don't even know. I hope to share more of my fun times with you about my family in my adventures this year. Like everything since 2012 started, this blog has been difficult to write - tears were shed, it's been edited several times and time was spent flipping through old photo albums. I hope all of you take the time to appreciate those family members around you, who have added so much to your life experience to this point and take the time in this year of the Dragon to connect with those you haven't had the chance to. Take this opportunity before the chance to do so slips away.

What I'll Miss About Toronto: #24 - Snow

I have a day off today. It's pretty sweet. What was even more great was the fact that it was snowing outside (the nice photo on the right shows the fluffy snowflakes raining from the sky). I'm going to miss the snow when I'm in Asia - the only chance I'll be able to see it again is if I climb Everest (which might happen, who knows).

We've missed out on snow this past winter (and last winter for that matter). Our mild temperatures have made for a less than white landscape. Some of my favourite memories have been from the great winters in Canada. From my first winter with my family here and I threw my first snowball to snowboarding in Whistler with my friends during the Olympics in 2010 - snow was a key player in those fun occasions.

There were some great moments that come to mind - let me highlight the top three that come to mind:

#3 - 1st Winter in London, Ontario and tobogganing down UC Hill.

During my first year at Western (yes, now know as simply Western University), I was very lucky to have an incredible floor in residence. London, being in the snowbelt of Southwestern Ontario, was bound to get a big snowfall once November started, and all of us were just waiting. During the week before exams, it happened. We threw aside our books and grabbed lunch trays and headed to University Hill. It was an event to remember (probably because I wasn't drunk) and it was only ruined by my sudden stomach issues due to eating something at dinner that didn't sit well. I literally ran back to rez and well, let's just say my roommate Jag wasn't impressed by the smell of the washroom afterwards. Too much information? Most definitely.

#2 - Skiing for the first time

Any child in Canada has been taken to the slopes by their school. This exposure to winter sports was likely due to tired teachers who were looking for any excuse to get out of the classroom and not have to teach for one day. My first experience with skiing was in Grade 7. We were all made to do a skiing test at the hill in order to determine our skill level. Having never been on skis, I was expecting to be given the green sticker, marking me for the bunny hills. What I didn't expect was my disastrous test results. As I started on the hill, I couldn't remember how to stop, even though the instructor told us just moments earlier. I could only think of the moment where he told us to stick our poles into the ground, but had misinterpreted that as the way to stop. In my panic to try to stop, I just kept on trying to stick the ski poles into the snow and I picked up more and more speed, I almost sideswiped the instructor and started heading straight towards the parking lot. It wasn't until I closed my eyes and forced a fall that the ordeal came to an end. I ended up with a green sticker - no way I was graduating to Orange that day.

#1 - Snowball forts and fights

In elementary school, recess was my favourite time of school day - I think all kids would say that. I remember being in grade 1 and the biggest snowfall happened. Some people stayed home, but for those people that made it in, our teachers decided, it wasn't worth teaching a lesson today and let us outside to play. We spent hours building huge forts and by lunchtime, we amassed an arsenal of perfectly formed white cannonballs to launch at each other. By the time the fights were over, there were bruises, red faces and running noses. All the teachers could do was stand on the sidelines and laugh. The parents loved it - we were all exhausted and went right to bed once we got home. I wish kids these days got that opportunity to have that fun. I think today, they'll need a permission form just to go out for recess. Lame.

Going to a warm climate will be great. But nothing will ever replace the fun and memories of Canadian winters.

What I'll Miss About Toronto: #25 - The Industry Parties

In my last couple of weeks here in Toronto, I've obviously started thinking about what I'll miss and all of the fear of missing out (FOMO - thanks Vanessa Ewen for that amazing acronym) moments when I'm away in Asia.

So to help me cope, like it always does, I've made a list and from now until I leave, I'll reveal a new item on my list of "What I'll Miss About Toronto" along with other posts.

Sitting at #25, are the incredibly fun industry parties that agencies and their suppliers hold every year. I've been fortunate enough that throughout my five years in advertising, I've attended my fair share of industry parties - many good, some, well, let's just say I didn't RSVP the following year.

These past two months had been crammed full of parties - most recently was Yahoo! Canada last night (not impressed that I had to wait in a line, to go into another line to get in so that I can line up for coat check, but nonetheless, it was still a good time) and AdBall that happened tonight (a bit of a snore - the only saving grace was the company of Rebecca Ho and Kim Hunter and the poker tables).

Coupled along with the industry parties are the many fun agency internal parties we have had at the various agencies I've had the privilege of working for. Most notable was my appearance at the 2007 TBWA\Toronto party where I danced so much that somehow I ripped my pants in the back all the way down my butt crack. From there, a lovely coworker who I shared my embarrassing moment with decided to make the tear even bigger by ripping it open (see side photo) and by that point, there was no going back. Go big or go home. So I went big (thankfully, I had black boxers that night under my black pants, so it wasn't that obvious that I've just ripped my pants open.

I'll miss these fun drunken times. Thankfully, there are a couple of going away parties along with my own - scheduled Feb 9th at the Pilot Tavern - so I can still hold onto one last chance of partying like a Mad Man.

2012 - A Year of New Adventures.

Time out - [tahym-out]; (noun)

Definition: A brief suspension of activity; intermission or break.

When we were young, a time out was considered a bad thing. You threw a toy at your sibling? You need to go take a time out. You said a bad word that you only repeated because you heard your parents saying it first? That's a time out, mister. You came home with a bad grade? A slap on the bum and a time out - that'll teach you. With this as an introduction the word "time out", no wonder we had such ill will towards it.

As we grew older, time outs didn't get any better. A time out in sports is called near the end of a game by the losing side to collect themselves and to likely delay the inevitable loss. A time out in grade school takes to form with detention - this time, it was for saying that bad word to that awful science teacher. And unemployment, a sometimes non-voluntary time out from your career, is looked upon with fear and pity.

Unlike the analogies above, I've always seen having a "time out" as a good thing. I'd often say things like, "I had a great time out with my friends at the bar last night," or "That trip to the city centre was a fun time out and about in the streets of Bangkok." Everyone needs a break from their routine. That's why, when I was trying to brainstorm up a name for my new blog, a venture in which I am going to dedicate myself to this year, Terence's Time Out became a perfect fit. It expresses exactly what I'm doing this year, starting February 10th. I quit my job in advertising, an industry that I've been a part of for just over five years, and I'm taking a time out.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Where did decision come from?!"

That's the reaction I've been getting from the people who I've told and have found out from others. It wasn't an easy decision to make. It might have seemed impulsive, but most people don't know it's been actually two years in the making.

It was 10:31pm on Sunday, January 8th. Unlike most Sunday nights, I was in bed already instead of watching the news. I was also grappling with a decision that had been sitting with me since the previous Friday afternoon. After a tough week, I was spent - I was tired of what I was doing and we hadn't even reached Blue Monday, the third Monday of January where depression reigns over the population (look it up on Wikipedia). It was a combination of all aspects of my job - tough feedback from some people I work with, the monotonous nature of what account management work is all about and a general sense of "Why am I working so hard? What am I really accomplishing?" resulted on a full stress-related hive breakout on my hands. So I said enough. Stop complaining about it and do something about it.

Saturday morning, after waking up with a sense of purpose, I took to looking for a new job. Hours was spent reviewing website of potential employers and companies that were a step removed from the agency life. Serious thought was given to Facebook - I mean, how great would it be to work for a company that I have so much affinity for. After some quick cover letter writing and resume touchups, I had applied for about five jobs with various employers and thought, well, that's that.

It wasn't until Sunday morning when I woke up with a conflicted conscience. What am I doing? - I wondered out loud. What makes me think I'm going to be any happier with a new job when I'd likely be as unhappy as I am in my current role? It was time to ask myself some tough questions. Questions that I might not like the answer to. After some hours of soul searching, I decided seek some advice from my friends, Sandy and Alex.

The two of them are just a few of the people who inspired me to take this time out. They quit their jobs last year and travelled Southeast Asia before getting hitched and moving to Paris so that Sandy could pursue a dream of attending a world class chef school. Having met up with them at one time or another on my three vacations this year, I kept asking myself - why don't you do what they did: just quit and go travelling?

Travelling has always been on my mind ever since I went to Europe back in 2007. It went by so quickly I needed a vacation from the vacation. Over the next three years, rather than going on regular trips, I focused on work. It wasn't until this past year, where travel became a priority, no longer taking a backseat to work. After Thailand, Taiwan, the West Coast and France, I realized the times I was most happy was when I was away from work and enjoying my experiences in these foreign places.

My friends put it into perspective: I'm young, I have the means to do this and if I don't, I'll regret you never made the choice when it was mine to make. This advice, coupled along with the final question I asked myself - would getting a promotion later this year make me any happier than I am today (to which the answer was no) - led me to start typing my resignation letter at 11pm on Sunday evening.

The Hours Before the News is Delivered...

After finishing my resignation letter minutes after starting it, I paused. Holy fuck. What am I doing? - I asked myself. My brain started kicking in - how will you pay for all of this? I spent the next two hours looking at my bank accounts to ensure sufficient cash flow. It's about 1am when I figure out, yes, I can take off 12 months and have enough dough to still travel comfortably. Now, who do I tell? Thankfully, when you have friends all over the world, you can call them for a chat without the fear of waking them up as they're already half a day ahead. After sending out some Facebook messages to my close friends, I skyped with my friend Erin in Singapore, whose reaction was a mix of surprise and happiness. Almost 45 minutes of chatting goes by and I realize, shit, I better start thinking about where I want to go.

The next three hours was spent on looking up destinations in Asia - using Taiwan as my base (since my family is there) it's the most cost efficient way for me to take this year off. A free room at my dad's place, free food and reconnecting with my extended family - what were the cons to this decision?!

Little did I know, but it was now 5am and I was still unable to fall asleep - really there was no point. I packed my stuff up and took walked to work. We were blessed with some warm temperatures that 2nd week of January, so the walk was relaxing. I got into work, printed and signed my resignation letter and started catching up on what I needed to do from the week before.

As people started drifting into work during the time that normal people get into work, it was time to tell my boss. It was a good conversation and I was fully ready to have several other conversations with other people that would find out the news. And with each of those conversations, not once was there a doubt that this was the right thing to do. There was nothing left to do but to look forward to everything after February 10th, my last day at work.

Terence's Time Out - A New Adventure Deserves a New Blog

So that's what's been happening in my life for the past two weeks. I agreed to try to keep it on the DL for as long as I can with my bosses at work, but as this is a major life decision, I wanted to give everyone as big of a heads up as possible. I leave near the end of February, with a one way ticket to Taipei (business class to treat myself) and no timeline as to when I'll be back again.

Time Out ended up being my choice for this blog's name. It's an intermission from my life in Toronto and my career to figure out what I want to do with my life, if advertising is the career I want to go back to or if Toronto is where I want to live following my time away.

The break couldn't have come at a better time. I leave advertising with great friends and colleagues who have expressed how happy (and jealous) they are with my decision. I leave my place in the hands of my brother who'll be living here once I take off. And I leave Toronto with such a supportive group of friends, who wish me nothing but the best in my new adventures.

In the coming days and weeks, I will update you on my plans and my last day festivities here in Toronto. Sorry for the long read, but there was a lot to get out there! I can't wait to take you all on the adventure with me.