Celebrating Three Anniversaries that Changed My Life

There's something refreshing about the beginning of September.  It's the beginning of the school year  and having been a geek all my life, it was always something I looked forward to.  It's the beginning of fall, my favourite season, especially in North America; the air is crisp enough to wear a jacket (I have an unhealthy obsession with jackets) and sleeping with the windows open requires that extra blanket so you don't catch a cold.

This September marks some important anniversaries in my life.  One involves gaining independence, one involves a loss and one involves a journey of discovery.

It was ten years ago this September that I packed up a minivan full of my possessions, drove down the 401 past hundreds of farm fields to a small city called London, Ontario.  Here, I would attend an amazing university, the University of Western Ontario.  Here is where I would gain independence - no one was accountable for my grades, my bills or how I lived my life except for me.  While there's not much of that Orientation Week that I remember (most likely due to the copious amount of alcohol that was consumed), I remember meeting a floormate who would turn out to be my roommate for the remaining three years and still an incredibly good friend today.  More friends were gained along the way, some were lost, but overall, I was lucky enough to meet some fascinating individuals, some of whom I have had the great fortune of traveling with on my trip around the world.

It was two years ago this weekend that I talked to my grandmother for the last time.  Having battled lung and bone cancer for over a year and a half, she died shortly after collapsing on her way back to her room at the hospital in Los Angeles.  Luckily, I was fortunate enough to have planned a trip to visit her that Labour Day weekend and had a nice chat before she passed.  It was my grandmother that really encouraged me to reconnect with my father's side of the family.  It could have been guilt from all of the mean things that were said and done during my parents' divorce, but her one message to me throughout the entire time she was battling her illness was that I needed to patch things up with my dad.  If it wasn't for her urging and what I believe is her continued guidance on the matter, it wouldn't have led me to where I am today.

And it was six months ago today that I quietly sipped on a gin and tonic while watching Toronto disappear from my window as I sat on my midnight flight to Taipei.  Half excited, a quarter drunk and the remainder anxious, I had no idea what was in store for me in my year off.  I had left a comfortable life for the unknown and having always been the person with a plan, not having one made me feel empty and lost.  It never occurred to me that I was pretty empty and lost all along, even with my plans.  What I was missing was family and having had the chance to be with my dad's side of my family 24/7 for two months made me realize how much I needed these people in my life.  It also marked the start of an incredible journey that would take me to new places I had never seen before like Tibet, Vietnam, Singapore, Malaysia, Portugal, Spain, Croatia and Scotland.  I've experienced some great moments like celebrating with thousands of Spaniards on La Ramblas after their Euro Cup win or taking a dip in Loch Ness while the sun blazed down on us sipping whiskey on the beach.

This weekend has certainly been a time for reflection - this perfect storm of anniversaries have made me appreciate that saying, "everything happens for a reason."  Within the last six months, I've learned a lot about my strengths and weaknesses - these next six months will be about how I take that knowledge and determine what I want to do moving forward.  May more eureka moments occur, and may more truths shed light on paths that need to be followed.

Looking towards the next two months in Europe and the Future.

Fifteen days.  The perfect amount of time for rests between my two big trips this year.  With China, Tibet, Vietnam, Singapore and Malaysia knocked off my travel bucket list, I look forward to my next two months in Europe.  

I had some epiphanies on my trip to Asia, of which my need to work on my procrastination was identified and then ceremoniously set aside for a later time (my lack of movement on my Asia blog posts is evidence of that).  One of the more important epiphanies is my sense of optimism and how it has changed over the last decade.

When we were young, we spent an overwhelming amount of time thinking about what we'll do when we get older.  When I was five, I wanted to be a singer.  When I was thirteen, I wanted to be a medical examiner (I had a weird obsession with the show Quincy M.E. before CSI became uber popular).  When I was eighteen, I was overwhelmed with the choices of what I wanted to be and do when I became an income earning adult.  This focus on the future filled me with hope, optimism and happiness - more than my 140lb body could contain.  

I'm not sure at what point which I stopped looking forward and started looking back.  I guess, I can't pinpoint a time, but perhaps a period in which this happened.  When I was 22, I wanted to be eighteen and have university to start all over again.  When I was 25, I wished I was ten years old and had no bills to pay, no responsibilities to attend to.  When I turned 28, I wished I was seven again, with my family all happy and together.  Needless to say, the latter thought was pivotal in my decision to quit and depart on this adventure.

What happened to make us this way?  When do we stop looking less towards the future and start dwelling on the past?  We become preoccupied with the niggles of the present and start drowning in the regrets of what we coulda, woulda, shoulda done.  This shift in the scales between past and future prevent us from truly reaching our potential - with each shift of the weight back to the past, our hopes and dreams seem to sink with it.

These past four months of being off have provided me with some perspective of what I need to change about myself.    I have to stop regretting decisions of the past and realize everything has led me to a point, this point, in which I have an opportunity to make some great life changes.  I look forward to my months in Europe where I can live a carefree life, eat amazing food like it's my job and overwhelm my visual cortex with the sights of Europe.  I look forward to the new experiences with friends and new friendships I'll forge along the way.  I look forward to finding inspiration for some short stories or perhaps a novel.  And I appreciate the fact that I'm one lucky son of a bitch for being able to take this trip.  I really do.

For those of you curious of where I'll be, here's my itinerary - which is pretty much set:

Hong Kong - June 8 - 11

London - June 12 - 13

Lisbon - June 14 - 18

Porto - June 18 - 19

Faro / Lisbon - June 20 - 21

Madrid - June 22 - 24

South of Spain - June 25 - June 30

Barcelona - July 1 - 3

Zagreb - July 4 - 6

Split - Dubrovnik Cruise - July 7 - 13

Paris - July 14 - 22

London - July 23 - Aug 2 (OLYMPICS BABY!)

Edinburgh - Aug 2 - 11

London - Aug 12 - 15

Taipei - Aug 16 - ...

So here's to looking forward...and never looking back. 

Always look forward.  Looking back is a waste of time.