Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day to all you lovely, strong, full of love and life mothers out there. I especially want to wish those new moms a very happy 1st Mother's Day - you deserve it for what you just went through. Haha.

Ever since 2000, Mother's Day has been a bit of a sore spot for me. Having lost my mom at 16, I really didn't feel like being very happy on a weekend that most other people were going out for brunches. Thirteen years later, the negative feelings has not completely disappeared, but I do have another person to celebrate on this special day. Having had the time this year to get to know my stepmother, May,  better, I realize I'm incredibly lucky to have another strong female role model in my life.

Thanks to Disney, stepmothers get a very bad rap - generations of kids were raised on the fact that stepmothers marry your dad and go on to destroy your life. I'll be honest, I didn't warm up to my stepmother all that quickly. I only learned of her around my 18th birthday when I started talking to my dad again after a two year self-initiated silent treatment.

My dad, never the one to be great at emotional parenting, thought it would be good to break the ice by telling me he had remarried and that I should say hello to my new mom. Let me give you a piece of advice if in case you ever encounter a situation like this in the future - if you just started talking to your son again after two years of not talking, and he just lost his mom two years before that, you might want to ease into the topic of your remarriage rather than "SAY HI TO YOUR NEW MOM."

I'll admit, I didn't recover from that for a while. And on my first trip back to Taiwan when I was 21, my discomfort with the whole remarriage situation certainly showed. I was terribly immature about the entire situation, and for a person in their early twenties, I had the emotional quotient of a seven year old who didn't get the toy he wanted on his birthday. Needless to say, my stepmom and I didn't really bond at all except for exchanging a few superficial pleasantries.

During my twenties, I had three other opportunities to go back to Taipei, and each time, we did bond more and more. But I was still hesitant, if not hostile, not really knowing whether to direct my anger of the situation at her or my dad, she still received some attitude and cut eye (and for those of you that know me, I throw some incredibly nasty shade when I want to). But just like my dad, my stepmother was incredibly patient, even when she didn't need to be, and still made the effort to bond and get to know me.

I found out a lot about my stepmother this year that surprised and impressed me. She was a Chief Auditor at one of the biggest banks in Taiwan, she oversaw dozens of branches and hundreds of employees. She had worked there for 25 years, gradually climbing the corporate ladder, because she was smart and she had incredible interpersonal skills (which my dad could learn a thing or two from). She and her family grew up with modest surroundings having lost her dad at a young age, she and her four other siblings took care of each other as they either immigrated abroad for education and work - she having taken her MBA in the US.

What impresses me most about my stepmom is her devotion to family. To her own family, she has been incredibly supportive in taking care of her mother. Her mother, my step-grandmother, is a very bubbly and energetic octogenarian, but often loses her memory from time to time. May shows the same patience she had with me and my brother's terrible attitudes, as she often accompanies her during the weekdays and entertains her frequently, and repeatedly asked questions. She is also quite devoted to my dad, even though there are times, I'm not even sure why she's with him. My dad, like so many other men, is quite devoid of reading his wife's anger towards him, which causes some very silly fights between the two.

Since living in Taipei, May and I have bonded over our love of drinking (there are times, she can outdrink me), gossip (she has been my informant on quite a few hilarious Jou family secrets) and being able to talk about life in general. Conversations with her are easier now as we've found more and more to talk about, and to an extent, I'm sure there is some jealousy on my dad's part that I confide more in May then I do him. To be fair, having a heart to heart with my dad can be more painful than extensive dental surgery. I swear, Kristen Stewart has more emotional expression in her face than he does sometimes when I try to have a discussion with him.

Okay, enough dad bashing. I am lucky that I now have another person to celebrate on Mother's Day. Someone who I am happy to introduce to my friends whenever they visit to Taipei, someone who I now email and communicate with voluntarily and someone who I can share stories and laughs over several bottles of wine.

Happy Mother's Day May. Thank you for everything.

Hey G Adventures - let's take a stroll through my gallery.

Hello G Adventures Team!

So you've read my cover letter and reviewed my CV, it's time to get to the good stuff - the photos.

I'll admit, because I like being upfront and honest, I have not had any sort of professional photography training or done any professional photography work. All of my work displayed below is amateur. But I believe I have a great eye for photography, I also try to learn by experience and teach myself how to improve on my technical and composition skills each time I go and explore with my camera (quite the "autodidact" you can say).

Anyway, you've read enough chatter, let's take a scroll through my photos and you can see for yourself if I'm what you're looking for.

Taken at Angkor Thom, Siem Reap, Cambodia.

A great tour guide I once had said something I will never forget, "Always remind yourself to take a look at what is behind you." Turning around after walking through the narrow west gate of Angkor Thom, I turned back and snapped this fella not two feet behind me.

Taken near Le Hotel du Ville, Paris, France.

There's something about the way that this bubble was captured in black and white that reminds me of a sci-fi movie shapeshifter.

Taken from the top of the Marina Bay Sands, Singapore.

The sky's reflection sandwiches the Singapore cityscape.

Taken at Wat Po, Bangkok, Thailand.

Tradition has it that if you pick up a bowl of coins, drop a coin in each bowl along the temple and you have the exact number of coins to match the bowls, the Giant Laying Buddha will bring you good luck. This woman clearly wanted to ensure she got it right, creating quite the backlog of irate luck seekers.

Taken at the Isle of Skye, Scotland, UK.

The overcast clouds of Scotland provide perfect lighting for this shot of my friend wandering out into the middle of a lake. The stillness of the water and lack of wind that day helped provide a near perfect reflection.

Taken at the docks on Koh Samui, Thailand.

Thailand's three islands in the southwest are the perfect getaway for those trying to escape Bangkok. Here, relaxed passengers get ready for the return to the big city.

Taken in Asakusa, Tokyo, Japan.

Tokyo is often represented in tour guides by this one area - Asakusa and its bustling markets. On the weekends, we see a rare glimpse in this photo of actual pavement as it is packed with locals and tourists alike.

Taken at a carnival in Paris, France.

Memories of the CNE flooded my mind as I bought a few entry tickets to a carnival my friend and I stumbled across while wandering aimlessly through the 19th arrondissement.

Taken on a boat headed to Siem Reap, Cambodia.

Sepia really brought out the general haze of sailing up the river towards Siem Reap. Passengers gathered on the top deck to get some sun and escape from the stale cabin air below.

Taken at Gold Beach, Normandy.

A day going from beach to beach in Normandy and we were rewarded with this spectacular view over the cliffs at Gold Beach.

Taken at the Central Market, Phnom Penh, Cambodia.

I affectionately call this one "Mary Poppins Monks." It was fascinating the respect they got - traffic came to a halt as they walked through traffic.

Taken near Lhasa, Tibet.

In one of the most awesome feats of human engineering, the First Palace near Lhasa stands on top of a steep hill with a path that leads to a shrine at the peak. From the peak, you look back and see the stunning backdrop behind the palace where the old Dalai's use to be able to walk out and meditate to everyday.

Taken in the streets of Bangkok, Thailand.

When the sun sets on Bangkok, the food carts come out to play.

Taken by the Seine River in Paris, France.

1,000 drummers took to the streets to celebrate music. This is just a third of the group.

Taken in Halong Bay, Vietnam.

Passengers take the opportunity to embrace and hide from the powerful Vietnamese sun.

Taken at Ulan Temple in Bali, Indonesia.

Balinese women on their way to a wedding with gifts upon their heads.

Taken in Johkar Square in Lhasa, Tibet.

The wares of the Tibetan traders in the market square. What's your best offer?

Taken at Mljet National Park in Mljet, Croatia.

Leaving a piece of Canada behind with the Inukshuk.

Taken near Inverness, Scotland.

Could it get any more Scottish in this photo? All we're missing is haggis.

Taken in Hvar, Croatia.

They boats were hypnotizing as they swayed back and forth while tethered to the sea floor.

Taken near Central, Hong Kong.

Someone decided that this neighbourhood could use some colour - and it sure worked.

Taken in Tibet.

Hairy buffalo line the river's edge so that tourists can jump on for a souvenir photo.

Taken at Angkor Wat, Siem Reap, Cambodia.

This young monk ponders why he's of so much interest to tourists.

I hope you enjoyed my portfolio / digital gallery and that you had a chance to see my composition and point of view in taking photos.

If you have any questions, or want to chat in person, I'd be happy to meet.

Thanks again for reviewing my work. I appreciate your time.

Tibet - One Year Later...

During all of my recent job interviews, the topic of my travels has 99% of the time led off every conversation. When I tell people the places I've been, the one that most people ask about is Tibet. It is still hard for me to fathom that I traveled to this remote region of the world a year ago today. 

I had the opportunity to go because of my Dad. After he had heard that I quit my job so I can go traveling, he thought it would be a good bonding experience to take me to Tibet and also experience some other parts of Mainland China. 

Our journey started in Western China, in the dusty city of Shining. Like most of the China that I experienced, it was a city of extremes: 

- a large populous, but many abandoned buildings due to over construction, 

- a diverse ethnic mix, but visible factions between ethic Chinese and the Central Asian minority groups that first populated the region,

- and modernization but with issues with social traditionalism and the treatment of women as second class citizens. 

Shining stuck out as a collection of metal surrounded by incredible geological wonders and nature's most stunning backdrops.  It was here that we experienced the way the Chinese countryside functions - having been stuck in a traffic jam for almost 4 hours and watching the locals force their way around the jam on the one stretch of road leading back to the city.

The trek to Lhasa was also one of breathtaking scenery mixed in with a total kick to my comfort zone's gut. Crammed into a coffin-style bunk (stacked three bunks high with two columns per room) the 24 hour trek up several thousand meters of elevation caused dizziness, shortness of breath and a total lack of any personal space. The best challenge was the struggle to use a squat toilet on a fast moving train where the previous users have been less than careful with their aim. One experience with that, I told my gastrointestinal system that we were going on a full shutdown mode to avoid another traumatic experience with the loo.

Stepping off the train and onto the platform at Lhasa, the blast of fresh air was like no air I've ever breathed in before. Clean. Crisp. Wonderful. Not realizing that I've been breathing at twice my normal speed because of the lack of oxygen, the walk to the tour bus felt like a brutal 5k run uphill.  

Over the next two days, I would spend time during the day wandering alongside the town folk of Lhasa, visiting some of the holiest sites in Buddhist culture and observing some of the strict military presence used to remind the Tibetan people, that someone else owns you. But the Tibetan people, mindful that they are not fully free, have very little cares in the world and are among the most happy and friendly people I've met on my year abroad. A mix of not knowing what else there is beyond their borders and a simple style of life, they greeted you with a familiarity that is hard to explain. In the market of the Johkang Temple, stalls would be bookended by military police posts, there to guard against any protesters ready to immolate themselves and cause embarrassment to the Chinese government.  But the shopkeepers go about their day, as if the guards didn't exist, perfecting their craft, peddling their art, bargaining with passersby interested in taking home a piece of the local culture.

The next seven days were ones that tested my physical endurance and my comfort zones to an extreme. We stayed in not so great accommodations, some without warm water or heat, some looked like the place you saw in the movie Hostel, and all with very little entertainment in and around the area. During the day, we would spend hours in a 4x4 trekking to the highest peaks and then down to flat desert all in an eight hour period. The high point (literally and figuratively) was being at base camp Everest and seeing this monstrous tip of rock sticking out of the ground and being left breathless at the sight of it (and the fact that there was little to no air). The lowest of lows was when one of the cars in our convoy of vehicles hit a small child who ran into the middle of the road. We don't know what ever happened to him - his aunt scooped him up, and ran off to their hut. The image of his wailing mother, collapsed at the doorstep of their home still gives me chills today.

We ended the trip in Shanghai - completely the opposite of what we experienced in the previous 12 days - a city that went from squalor to splendor in 25 years. Shanghai was where my other half of my family was from before the Civil War torn millions of Chinese families apart. Walking down the same streets my grandparents walked down when they were children, I wondered how they would have reacted to the changes and how emotional it might have been if they had experienced that.

My two week trip in China with my Dad was the start to repairing years of a strained relationship. It is always hard to travel with family members and at the time, I kept seeing my Dad as the same guy he's always been - this annoyance that just would not let me be an adult. I was short, I was brash, I was rude on various occasions during our time together and I'd constantly kick myself for being such a child. This was a gift that I was able to experience this trip of a lifetime, and I was a complete dick in the way I was showing my gratitude. But my Dad continued to be the patient man he always is, and looked past my behaviour while looking for nothing else but a closer relationship in return.

Tibet forced me to learn a lot about how I was living my life in Toronto.  How selfish I was, how I had misplaced many priorities which chasing after others that really are not all that important, and how I had been using my "independence" as an excuse for building proper relationships with my family, with friends and with partners. Tibet kicked off a year of self-discovery and reflection that I doubt any other destination I have been to this year would have been able to force out of me. The remote area, the spiritual presence, the lack of a busy lifestyle all made me sit and think, and think, and think...nothing else but that.

I thank my Dad for the chance to see the world's most amazing views, I thank the Tibetan people for their hospitality and I thank whatever's watching over me for keeping me safe and for guiding me through a once in a lifetime adventure.

What a difference a year can make.

Why we should never complain about our job hunt...

Having been back to the city for almost a month now, adjusting to life back in the city of Toronto has been a slow process. Transit is a joke, the weather has been abysmal, and the city has this duality of familiar yet foreign to me - perhaps I've been away for too long.

The job hunt, on the other hand, has been going well. Due to great friends in the industry, I've been flooded with details about interesting roles back in advertising. The interviews have been more like conversations - chats with strangers who didn't feel all that unfamiliar since we spoke the same ad speak. Some interviews have lasted over an hour and a half which is always a good sign. But the process is always long and tedious, with meetings set on different dates, shifting gears from one agency to another, one account to another. A lot of research and a lot of waiting. And waiting. And waiting...

But I should not complain. I should be grateful for having the opportunity to even be considered for a lot of the roles coming my way. It was definitely not that way for my parents and for many of their generation as immigrants to this country.

I cannot imagine how scared my parents must have been during their first interviews in this country. I remember when either had even the opportunity of a job interviewed, they stayed up late to prepare their answers, repeating them over and over again. As if struggling with their own answers wasn't part of the problem, but having to deal with the language barrier was another hurdle that had in their way.

I remember it took months for my mom to find a role in her field of accounting and the role she finally took was an entry level bookkeeping job at a petroleum transportation company out in the middle of (then) nowhere Markham. And the job hunt was not kind to my father, who had a Masters in Marketing Management and was forced to abandon his hunt and taking a role in a fast food restaurant as a Supervisor. This story is common for any child of an immigrant parent and it still plays out today for all of those people coming to Canada.

When I was interviewing other people for ad jobs the one thing that would irk me the most would be how underprepared some of those candidates were. If they had put in a fraction of the time most immigrants put in on their interview prep, they would have the role, no problem.

I put a lot of time prepping for roles that come my way. Most of this training does come from my university days, but I'm inspired by my parents who put every effort they had into trying to land that job so that they could provide a better life for me and my brother.

We've got it easy, folks.

Oh the places left to go...

It's been three weeks since returning to Toronto and already I have this voice in my head asking: "Where to next?"  While most would be worried about a mild case of schizophrenia, I find this voice to be reassuring.  It means that I'm still curious and hungry to explore.

October will mark my 30th birthday and one of my goals was to have traveled to 30 countries by that time.  This past year off made that goal a reality, so it was time to set newer, even more ambitious goals:  40 countries by the time I'm 35.  50 countries by the time I'm 40.

Both are completely achievable - I mean, I've only been to 15.3% of the world so far*, so it shouldn't be that difficult to brainstorm other places that I need to go.  So I sat here for an hour, staring at a map of the world and plotted out my wishlist outlining my next 10 years of travel.

As I scribbled away on my notepad, I was like a child writing down his letter to Santa weeks before the big day.  Giddiness swept through me as I furiously wrote, erased, re-wrote, scratched out and charted with arrows each change and addition made to the itinerary.  This was the most amount of fun I've had in three weeks.

A lot consideration went into picking out the destinations including major world events, weather/seasons, people I know who live there, planned life changes.  But we all know, even the best, most well-thought out plans never quite work out to what they should be.  Who knows, maybe I'll take another year off somewhere in between and knock off more countries than I expected.  Or something even more unexpected might occur: a relationship, god forbid, even kids could pop into the picture and ruin everything.  (Can you tell I'm not kid friendly?)

So here it is, my big (scary) audacious travel plans until 2023, who's in with me?

2013 (+2 new countries):
- Iceland (September) - 30th birthday gift
- Bahamas (October) - Giving thanks to good sunny weather
- Taiwan (December) - Visit the fam that I love so much

2014 (+4 new countries):
- Russia, Finland (February) - 2014 Winter Olympics!  3rd Olympics!
- Peru (April) - Machu Picchu baby!
- France (September) - Bordeaux Marathon - wine served at water stations
- Denmark (December) - Christmas Markets, Legoland, Little Mermaids

2015 (+5 new countries):
- Ireland (March) - St. Patty's Day
- Norway, Sweden (June) - Scandinavia during the summer so it won't be so cold.
- Luxembourg (September) - So tiny, you have to visit.
- UAE (December) - Dubai

2016 (+9 new countries):
- Trinidad & Tobago (Jan/Feb) - Carnival
- Brazil, Uruguay, Argentina, Chile (August) - Summer Olympics!  Olympics #4, and since I'm in the neighbourhood...
- Greece, Turkey, Israel, Jordan (October / November) - Take a few months off to travel the Aegean and the Middle East
- Taiwan (December) - Pit stop to recharge my soul.

2017 (+3 new countries):
- Burma (January) - Just 'cuz
- Mongolia (April) - Just 'cuz
- China (June) - Great Wall, Beijing, Xi'an then get out.
- India (December) - I'll be in some need of some craziness as I approach 35.

2018 (+3 new countries):
- South Korea (February) - Winter Olympics!  Olympics #5 - if it's still there!
- Australia, New Zealand (December) - Take the month off and discover the land down unda and Gandalf land!

TOTAL BY END OF 2018: 30 + 26 = 56 (+16 countries from goal)

2019 (+3 new countries):
- Sri Lanka (February)
- Nepal (September)
- Maldives (December)

2020** (+5 new countries):
- South Africa, Tanzania, Kenya (April) - Climb Kilimanjaro
- Egypt, Morocco (September) - See the Pyramids along the Nile and to see the marketplace in old Algiers...(I know, wrong country, but I liked the song lyrics.)

2021 (+4 new countries):
- Hungary, Slovakia, Slovenia (September)
- Fiji (December) Just 'cuz

2022+ (+2 new countries):
- Ecuador (April) - Head to the Galapagos
- Aruba (October)

2023 (+2 new countries):
- Cuba (February)
- Laos (May)
- Taiwan (December)

TOTAL BY END OF 2023: 56 + 16 = 72 (+22 from goal)

* 30 countries / 196 countries in the world. 
** Summer Olympics to be added in as a destination.
+Winter Olympics to be added in as a destination.
BOLD indicates countries I have not been to

Goodbye 2012, you've been awesome.

Happy new year's everyone!  I'm sad to see 2012 go because it has been such a great year for me.  It was a year for taking a break and doing some soul searching.  In fact, I feel I've done more personal development in the last 10 months than I have since graduating university.  My eyes have been open to new experiences, awesome destinations and evaluating my strengths and weaknesses.

It was this time last year that I made this life changing decision.  Stepping away from my career and taking some "me" time was an out of the box move for me.  In writing that resignation letter, I experienced such a mix of raw emotions.  Looking back on it now, all of those emotions had been repressed for a long time and had just begun to bubble up to the surface.  In putting my career ahead of everything else in life, I was becoming a very unhappy individual.

When I boarded the plane in early March, I was still not used to the idea that I was leaving a very comfortable life for the uncertainty of new experiences that were ready to challenge everything that I had learned in my 28 years on the planet.  Being thrown into uncomfortable circumstances really makes you ask yourself the tough questions and come up with answers you might not like.  These truths were a shock to my system but it was a wake up call that only helped me to progress and improve.  Here are some of the things I learned:

It is okay that I let myself be emotionally exposed.

Everyone has baggage.  From failed friendships, bad relationships, the loss of loved ones and betrayal by people you've trusted - baggage comes in all shapes and sizes.  My solution has always been to repress those experiences or ignore the issue.  For example, there have been countless times I've just alienated a person that I have had a fight with as opposed to being direct with my feelings and showing how hurt or upset I am with their actions.  As much as I thought it was an emotionally mature way of dealing with things and by keeping up appearances, it was the most immature thing anyone can do to resolve (or not resolve) conflict.  Other moments have challenged me as well and it has led to a lot of tears, both good and bad.  The last time I cried this many times in a year was when my mom passed away back in 2000, but it felt good to let it all out.  Keeping it all bottled up inside was making me into such a miserable person, I was barely able to look at myself in the mirror.

I can be a know-it-all but that I have so much left to learn.

This is something I've struggled with all my life.  The combination of being stubborn, a lot of education and an A-type personality has amounted to an ego with a terrible "I'm Right, You're Wrong" mentality.  In traveling to new places (ten new countries, with three more in 2013!) has really helped me understand that I should shut up once in a while and listen to what other people have to teach me.  

That with traveling, everything works out if you just don't stress about it.

I've always thought I was a decent traveler but it turns out I can be a bit of a stress case (especially when traveling with certain personalities).  In any case, a big area of discovery comes from letting small things go and allowing yourself to just play with the cards that you're dealt when traveling.  If you miss a flight, there's always a next one.  If you lose something, it can always be replaced.  You'll lose more out of the experience if you latch onto the material things you're missing out on rather than living in the moment.

I learned that I am extremely proud of my cultural background and cannot wait to share it with others.

Having left Taiwan when I was just four years old, I didn't have much of a chance to absorb what it meant to come from this background.  I shunned my Taiwanese side after my parents' divorce because of my then dislike for my father.  In the last five years, I have come to really appreciate this tiny island off of the coast of China and that there is a whole side of my heritage that I have to be proud of.  I've embraced my mother tongue this year and have made great strides in relearning Mandarin.  Although I'm still at a 6th grader's level of comprehension, I'm impressed at how much I've learned in four months.  I fell in love with the food as evidenced by my 10 pound weight gain and a softer belly than when I left Toronto (it does not disappear no matter how hard I work out).  I find myself fascinated with the history that is Taiwan, not only from my fathers' ancestry (Chinese from Fujian province) but from my mothers' side (Nationalists from the Mainland that retreated to the island back in 1949).  In fact, I find myself being a better Canadian for embracing my Taiwanese background because it allows me to share with others this vibrant culture and incorporate it into the mosaic that is Canada.  

I learned that my family means more to me than I've let them or others know.

In living with them for about five of the last ten months, I've come to love being a part of a family again.  I chose to close myself off from family after my parents' divorce and my mom's passing and quickly forgot what a great feeling it is to have people who truly love you around you 24/7.  

As much as I love making fun of my dad, I find his emails to bring a smile to my face each time I read them.  The one above was sent to me the day after I came out to both him and my mom - it was an email that I sat reading for almost an hour even though it is six simple lines of text.  It has taken me a while for me to share this aspect of my life with them and almost two weeks of sleepless nights to craft the right thing to say in person.  Finally, after three bottles of beer, I finally worked up the courage and blurted out what I've been holding in for a very long time and all before the clock hit my 29th birthday.  Their reaction was nothing short of extraordinary.  Having worked up so many different scenarios in my overly active imagination, ranging from the bad to a complete and off the handle rejection, I was astounded by how easy it was for them to look past my sexual orientation and say that they love me no matter what.  It was a good hour and so of talking, of crying, and of repeating some of the same things over and over again, but I felt more loved and an enormous weight lifted off my shoulders.  As much as Taiwan is a liberal society, there's still a lot for my parents to learn on the issue.  But I am so very lucky to have parents who are willing to learn with me as I grow more comfortable in my own skin.

So that's it for my reflections on a wonderful year.  I want to thank all of you for being on this journey with me.  I want thank my friends from back home who've shown me so much support in my decision to get out there and travel.  I want to thank the friends I've traveled with this year for sharing in the laughter, talking through the difficult conversations, and drinking our worries away.  I want to thank my new friends that I've met this year for allowing me to get to know you and to share our stories.  And I especially want to thank my family for taking me in and making me feel completely okay about being a 29 year old unemployed man living at home with his parents for a year.  

My wish for all of you is that you make 2013 a year in which you have an AHA! moment about your life's direction and I look forward to reading your retrospective at the end of next year!

Cheers!